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On the Lighter Side...

(Please keep in mind that none of the material presented here has any relevance to our "real world"...)


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Famous lines by famous people...

"An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest" (Benjamin Franklin, circa 1750)

"Just as eating against one's will is injurious to health, so study without a liking for it spoils the memory, and it retains nothing it takes in" (Leonardo da Vinci, circa 1500)

"Tim was so learned that he could name a horse on nine languages. So ignorant, that he bought a cow to ride on" (Benjamin Franklin, circa 1750)

"Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten" (B.F. Skinner)

"The aim of education should be to convert the mind into a living fountain, and not a reservoir" (John M. Mason)

"Failure is success if we learn from it!" (Malcolm S. Forbes)

" is not how far you fall, but how high you bounce..." (Anonymous)

WARNING sign in the Bahamas: "I am not a tourist! I am an armed native!" (Anonymous)

"When your boss makes extremely unfair and illogical statements about your or other's work it means that he is in big trouble" (Paul G. Ranky)

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, NOT absence of fear" (Mark Twain)

"The worse the passage, the more welcome the port" (Thomas Fuller, circa 1732)

"All who joy would win...must share it; Happiness was born as a twin" (Byron: Don Juan, 1819-24)

"Behind every successful man stands a proud wife and a surprised mother in law" (Brooks Hayes)

"The secret of success is consistency to purpose" (Benjamin Disracli, circa 1872)

"The more things change, the more things remain the same" (Alphonse Karr, circa 1849)

"Nothing is permanent but change" (Heraclitus, circa 500 BC)

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we have behind us is a part of ourselves; We must die to one life before we can enter into another" (Anatole France, circa 1881)

"Efficiency means skill in work or action... Efficiency is the philosophy, which analyses and teaches man to do everything consciously, so as to naturally learn more and more every day. For instance you may be moral without knowing why; and this philosophy of efficiency teaches you even to be moral consciously. This is the difference between the efficient (the wise) and the inefficient (the ignorant): The one does everything consciously and the other blindly or unconsciously or mechanically." (R. K. Murti, 1959)

"The more a man becomes efficient, the more he will become enthusiastic.... Just as great emphasis is laid for the improvement of the technical and mechanical side of an organization, so also it must be done for the improvement of the morale of its personnel, for raising the efficiency of it to a very high level." (R. K. Murti, 1959)

"Discipline can easily be maintained by constantly building up high morale through the proper training of workers on efficiency...wasted time is one of the biggest leaks in every organization." (R. K. Murti, 1959)

"The law of life is unavoidable and unalterable. If we, therefore, follow all the natural laws of life there is no doubt in reaching the goal in proper time... First and foremost we should, as nature has intended us to, follow only good qualities because none but good qualities can make us efficient, and bad qualities are sure to make us inefficient... We can define each good quality as efficiency itself." (R. K. Murti, 1959)

"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." (Albert Einstein)

"If you can dream it, you can do it!" (Walt Disney)

"Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it" (Langston Hughes)

"In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play" (Friedrich Nitzsche)

"It is only the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)

"Speaking generally, all parts of the body which have function, if used in moderation and exercised in labors to which each is accustomed, become thereby healthy and well developed, and age slowly, but if unused and left idle, they become liable to disase, defective in grotwh and age quickly" (Hippocrates)

"WANTED! Beautiful young woman who can prepare Italian and French meals in no time, can mount hooks and has a motorboat. Send at least three photos of the motorboat!" (Anonymous)

NO SMOKING HERE; THANKYOU! It has been suggested to display the following, as an attachement to a no smoking sign: "Thank you for holding your breath while I smoke" (Anonymous)

"Work is for those people who don't know how to snorkel" (Anonymous)


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Nanosoft jokes...

At a recent computer expo Nanosoft CEO, Mr. Hard-Hinged Movable Barrier (also known as Will Sponger, CEO of the Parasite Software Gang) reportedly compared the computer industry with the automotive industry and stated:

"If Generic Motor Cars had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that have a fuel consumption as low as 1000 miles/ gallon!"

As expected, Arthur Chisler, the Chief Negotiator of Generic Motor Cars didn't waste time to respond to this comment by releasing the following statement:


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What a coincidence!

Coincidence is some sort of interference between fact and fiction when facts are stranger than fiction. One could state, that coincidence is a notable concurrence of events without apparent casual connection.

According to Heisenberg's "uncertainty principle" (in other words, "not yet proved") whatever the human brain can think of is possible. Whatever is possible, can be done. And whatever can be done, will be done!

As a "proof" of the above, consider the following historically correct facts:

Coincidence: President Abraham Lincoln and President John F. Kennedy

President Abraham Lincoln's secretary was: Kennedy; President John F Kennedy's secretary was: Lincoln.

Lincoln's secretary begged to him not to go to the theater; Kennedy's secretary begged to him not to travel to Dallas.

Lincoln was born in a poor log cabin; Kennedy was born in a multimillionaire's house.

Lincoln was a self taught man; Kennedy's education was well prepared in advance.

Lincoln became president in 1861; Kennedy became president in 1961.

Lincoln was against slavery; Kennedy fought for social integration.

Lincoln was shot in the head; Kennedy was shot in the head.

Lincoln was shot from behind; Kennedy was shot from behind.

Lincoln was shot on Friday; Kennedy was shot on Friday.

Lincoln's murder was witnessed by his wife; Kennedy's murder was witnessed by his wife.

Lincoln's killer was shot before his trial; Kennedy's (assumed) killer was shot before his trial.

Lincoln's successor was A. Johnson; Kennedy's successor was L. Johnson.

A. Johnson was born in 1808; L. Johnson was born in 1908.

... and so on...

Isn't all this incredibly interesting?


Have some fun! Review a video clip by a trapeze artist from France: Pascale Rousseau, then click on 'Video' on the left hand side of the screen. (A clip we have created for the French artist on long Island, USA).


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More to come... Your comments and suggestions are most welcome! Please email to the Editor!